insert clever title here

Picture unrelated.

Well its been a while since iv done one of these. But I have been dealing with a lot of things including but not limited to school, work, social life, women, fish tank, ext. and one other thing that will surely surprise many people in the next few months =)

So to start off I really like this semester because I have little to distract me and I feel like I'm really making great strides in my education. I would however like this semester to be done with because I'm tired of doing math. Its not that I hate it, I'm just tired of it.

along with doing well in school i am also doing well in other aspects of life. I'v ben putting myself out there when it comes to women and there have been some successes and some failures. I also have been taking a very deep inner look at myself and found things that I'm strong in and other things I'm weak in. Like I use to have a poor self image. I thought I looked very unattractive and unfit, but instead of sitting there and sulking I did something about it. Iv been going to the gym a lot and have been running, swimming, lifting weights the whole nine yards. I have been find out who and what I really am. Even if you have made mistakes and you constantly look at what you have done wrong, remember it is those mistakes that make you into the person you are now. It is said that strongest steel is forged in the hottest of fires. Don't look at what you were but what you are now and what you can be. Dont let your mistakes hinder you instead use them to be better.


In addition to working out more I have also been much better about my diet. I have cut out a big chunk of processed sugars and calories. I am eating more fruit and less sweets. Drinking more water and less soda. I have been feeling really good because of doing that...well not until recently.

On Thursday I woke up with a horrible head ache and I was very confused were I was and I was complaining of my back and neck hurting. Well I went to the doctor and He told me i need to go to the E.R. because I my have Meningitis (which is a infection in the spinal cord that can kill you if left untreated) So I went to the E.R. at saint marks and they preformed a plethora of test the last one being a spinal tap...... For those who don't know what that is they take a fluid that is around your spinal cord. and how they do this is by getting a needle about 3 1/2 inches long and go in-between your disk in your back to suck some out...if this sounds really painful guess what it is! for those who know me really well you know I'm terrified of needles, and this particular test was my biggest fear. so ya for the past several days iv been feeling very not myself.  O and no Meningitis was found. WOOT!

But since iv been unable to leave my house I have developed a few dirty secrets...I really am starting to like "how i met your mother", "30 rock", and even starting to like "the big bang theory". I know I shouldn't but being cooped up for two days has given me a lot of time on my hands.


OK so here is a few pictures of my Fish tank as its been developing slowly. we have a few new additions to it that have very interesting personalities. (that is if you haven't been fallowing my facebook)

 Above are Lux and his new friend Felix. These names are Latin so if your wondering why they are weird names that's why.

This is by far my favorite fish. Its a fire fish goby. I love how it goes from white to bright red/orange. I am kind of torn between the name. Its either going to be Tessa and Kara.

This guys name is Axel, he is an Emerald Crab. He has quite the attitude and pinched me when I picked him out of the bag. But over all kind of a cool little dude.

But ya that has been the past week for me. its been really interesting and not at all what I planned on doing but I take it as it comes. 

No More

Ok first off I need to say sorry for not posting any thing for a while. I can not even begin to explain how busy iv been with work,  friends, family, and now this fish tank.
First I want to talk about my adventures on new years eve. I went with a good friend, who is a bit of an odd ball, to a new years party that was hosted by lovely girl I went to high school with. When going to this party with my friend it didn't occur to me that he has social anxiety disorder so I figured he would get a little drunk and maybe have a good time....but there was no alcohol. I felt so bad fir him. If he could im pretty sure he would have crawled right out of his skin. But threw out the party I worked the room and talked to old faces and new ones. Over all I had fun...but not my friend lol.


So after new years I finally got my damn tank in my room and as of today its running and fully operational.

I have been hanging out with a lot of friends lately too. I have been hiking and had so much fun, but kinda hurt my ankel. 

Iv also have been doing many other things with friends, But even if I was with good company ( and don't read this if you don't want to get bummed out ) I still felt lonely. For the past month or so iv felt like that. Even if I was surrounded by people I like I felt isolated. You see I have a many weaknesses but my greatest weakness of all is loneliness. It is the one feeling that just crushes my spirit and will. But I had no idea why I felt like that, and after reflecting I realized I was ashamed of who I once was and couldn't get over it. I was so caught up in the past I couldn't see what was happening now. It took an amazing women ( who I need to thank tomorrow ) to make me realize that I am so much better then I use to be. I am not even a shadow of my former self. And since I had this realization I no longer feel alone.
So this blog post is a special one. Because there are people who have brought me back from despair, misery, and loneliness. And I  dedicate it to those very special people.