Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Counting Down

Let me start off saying life at the moment is amazing. I have been really lucky to have made so many friends these last few months and I am so glad I have met them. But I am also sad because I am leaving very soon.

My friends have been completely supportive of my decision to go and I am so grateful for that, But not a lot of them are LDS and I don't think they completely relate to the magnitude of this for me. I am severely stressed but I don't really have any one to talk to about this kind of stuff because as I said before most of my friends are  LDS or have served missions and don't completely understand why I am leaving in the first place.

Preparing for this mission has been stressing me out. a perfect example of how it has affected me, It is 1:30 am and I can't seem to sleep. But it has been like this for a while (about 5 days now). As the clock is ticking away I am starting to realize more and more that I will be leaving in 8 weeks. I am not just nervous or anxious, but...well I hate to admit it but im scared. I am afraid that I will get in over my head, that I wont be do a good job, that I will fail. I am not a quitter nor have I ever been, but I am afraid that if I go and find out this is more then I can bare I would still not come home even if I hated my mission, because I see thing till the end. Maybe I am making a bigger deal of this then it really is, but this Mission has all but consumed me.

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